A Teenage Dilemma: The thirst to gravitate towards coolness

One thing, or the sole thing that I like growing up is the fact that I can make fun of the things that I did when I was younger.

    For example in fashion, wearing ‘never give up” shirts, collection of identical black leggings (that's even partnered with leather boots!), and caps with a flat brim.

    When it comes to social media: posting cringe worthy pictures, with really angsty captions (i.e. Keep calm and carry on)

    Trends like: falling in love with death, being that “not like other girls'' sort of trope that ironically goes on in every girl’s mind. 

There’s a lot, all of which I risk for the sake of being called “Cool”.

    Adolescent period is the time of discovery or finding their own self-identity. It’s the peak of everything. Hormones, pressure both of the upcoming adulthood, college, etc. 

    When I was in my teenage years, these are some of the embarrassing things that I did just so I can be one of the “cool kids”

1. Either liking really unknown bands or vibing with whatever’s trending. 

2. Acting mysterious by sharing less.

3. Molding myself into a “character”

4. Going crazy or going Y.O.L.O. 

    I’m going to see where my experiences fall under according to the Parenting Teacher’s Academy's 4 key factors of teenager’s mind and personality construct,

Acceptance and Attention

    I listened to lots of indie music just so my friends and classmates would see me as unique that don’t go by what’s in the top 10 MTV charts, but at the same time, I made sure to never miss a single song released by Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, One Direction, Justin Bieber and Bruno Mars, just so I wouldn’t be left out. For the sake of the contradicting aspects of fitting in just to crave acceptance and standing out to gather attention.

Separation

    In my early days in highschool, I acted mysterious, and had this “mold” for a character that I wanted to be, thinking I'm some kind of a protagonist in a coming of age novel or movie. I remember borrowing my friend’s John Green Novel collection, then wanting to be like Margaux from Paper Towns, I wrote my notes in highschool in an alternate mixture of capital and small letters just to be like her. Like Alaska Young, I live my life like it’s filled with drama even if it’s not and even when Alaska’s life isn’t even about that. All while seizing the day, having the search for the great manifesto, doing risky and immature things that really hurts to reminisce, Like Miles Pudge and co. in Looking for Alaska and Margaux and Quentin on that one night from Paper Towns. For the main reason of wanting to not be “like the other girls” to “not be typical” “not be normal” thinking like all of that is a bad thing.  

The Ego

    “It’s during the teenage years that the ego is being formed and entrenching its identity. The ego loves to be cool because it will feel more powerful.”(Miller, n.d.) 

The era of Y.O.L.O. (You only live once) if you would think about it, YOLO are often times used by teenagers, the age in which are far away from the death as the ages 70 and above, Like what Miller stated, teenage years is the era of ego, it is where most of us feel more powerful and have the urge to be like the “cool kids” it is where we long to do whatever we want. But really I think, maybe it’s because after this, we’re all aware that adulthood would give us less time to do whatever. So we tend to go crazy while we can’t be put to jail yet for a misdemeanor and while we don’t have so many responsibilities yet as a minor. 

“You have to get lost before you can find yourself.” John Green, Paper Towns

    At first I thought I wasted my teenage years not honing myself to be whatever I wanted to be, I failed to know what I truly am, and the things that I want to do because I tried to fit myself inside a puzzle piece that wasn’t meant for me. However, I  figured, without those eras, those experiences, those mistakes, I wouldn’t be where I am right now. 

    Using the messed up - I mean really messed up things that I did before, I got to figure out, and construct my real and authentic and raw self. Some are not made to know everything about themselves right away, it’s a process, and a process worth risking, and alotting your time for. Teenage years was a mess, I was lost, I didn’t know myself that much, but it got me some of my favorite bands, one of my favorite author, my love for life and ultimately, I found the yellow brick road that lead me to my own true self.

PEACE OUT!