Phoebe Buffay is my absolute favorite character from friends and here are some of my favorite characteristics of hers that I adapt to fight the toxicity of my Young Adulthood generation.
Being a young adult, with college, and jobs can be exhausting and would often just suck the remaining energy out of you till you reach that end of the semester or worse/lucky, till you reach the weekend -that, if you don’t have a schedule for the weekends. Sometimes when I truly need some serotonin boost just to keep myself sane after or before clearing my backlogs, I resort to watching my favorite show, FRIENDS.
While all of them are equally inspiring and each has different characteristics that a lot can learn from, Phoebe Buffay just slowly makes sense to me as a young adult and as a college student who is always surrounded by college stress, toxicity, and drama. Phoebe Buffay’s personality slowly becomes more admirable for me than I used to think of her when I was a teen, her personality and characteristics just seem like a must-adapt in this world of the tertiary level and the dark world of adulting.
So I share with you, the 5 characteristics that Phoebe Buffay has that a young adult should have.
Phoebe goes in front of the stage and sings her heart out, runs as how she likes to run, and rides her pink bike with training wheels, ringing her bells in the park full of crowds without anyone’s thought in mind. When you step foot to adulthood, expect people to see you as a competition as it is a very competitive environment, and expect everyone to scrutinize your actions and judge your movements. And it’s going to be hard not to let it get through you, however, Phoebe’s “So? Why do you care?” when she was confronted by her ‘weird running’ by Rachel, keeps me on track.
We can’t really control people’s opinions of us, but we can identify which we would pass from one ear to the brain or from one ear and then exit to the other. Learn how to nitpick which of these judgments and opinions would actually serve importance to you and shoo the others worth nothing.
Ask yourself “Why would I care?” then if you sort it all out, you won’t lose yourself through the sea of opinions and you will be more carefree.
They always say that children speak their minds, however, as we grow old we tend to limit what we say and formulate it first in our mind before saying it. Phoebe Buffay begs to differ, she is genuine and real. What’s in her mind, she says it. People say it's not enough to just say good things that wouldn't harm others, you have to have it in your heart and mind as well to be true, to be real. In a toxic environment being a part of the toxicity or in other words, being a plastic is an addition to the problem.
From my experience, the key to surviving this harsh world is to be transparent and straightforward, like Phoebe. If you don’t like something, say it, if you like it, say it. Withholding insights, that could’ve been helpful to the situation, can lead to disaster or bad outcomes. It’s like withholding a fart, it’s not good. Being polite is one thing and being true to yourself is another thing. It’s okay to be diaphanous.
Probably one of the most important in the list. Phoebe is strong no doubt. Despite the circumstances she went through: left by her father when she was a baby, lost her mom, lived on the streets at the early age of 14, and constantly lied and dismissed by her own twin. It's utterly sad, and devastating, but she still is the most energetic and with the most smiles among the 6 friends, always filled with joy and love
This might be too different than of the hardships that we experience in our lives, but Phoebe serves as an inspiration to us to know that it’ll get better and that we shouldn’t let the past or our stress get the best of us. Even in dire times, there's still a reason to smile. Just hang in there.
Phoebe is what I can say “the pillar of friends.” She is like the glue that sticks them together and the wall that holds them still. Why? Because all of the guys and the gals had a past together, college friends, childhood friends, roommates, and lovers. Whilst she may be considered an outsider, Phoebe with no connections and past with them is still loyal. She has everyone’s back, whatever it is, she’s very reliable; proven flooding Rachel’s pregnancy, lending money for Monica’s catering service, testing Chandler’s love for Monica, and a lot more.
Loyalty is a fading characteristic nowadays, but from my experience, showing loyalty to a person, whether a friend or a significant other, to your passion and/or yourself, is a very helpful thing to have. In this generation, many people have built walls around them, gaining trust issues. I am one, which made me fail to let people in, people who could’ve been a friend to me. And so I realized that one thing that made me build these walls is my own incapability to be loyal to somebody. I won’t be hurt if I don’t go out, but I can’t be healed if I don’t go to the hospital either.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, begin with yourself, show others that you can be a reliable and trustworthy person and the right people will gravitate towards you, people that will be loyal to your friendship or relationship.
- Stands for what she believes in
There are a lot of things that Phoebe believes in that might’ve come as absurd to the other friends, her being a vegan, her ability to talk and sense spirits, her disagreement with Charles Darwin’s Evolution Theory, or maybe, her just being a hippie. None of which Phoebe likes to change just to fit her friend’s ideals and standards.
Today, people can be easily influenced by others’ opinions through social media, through the most liked replies and comments, or by the number of dislikes. Some would hate something they used to like just because a lot of people don’t like it. Which is why we need to stand for what we believe in again. Like Phoebe, we shouldn’t let our opinions crash down just to satisfy others. However, to learn, we got to know the difference between what is right and what is wrong and listen to both sides rather than dismissing other’s opinions just because it doesn’t coincide with ours.
These are some of my FAVORITE Phoebe characteristics to adapt as a young adult. What’s yours? Let's hear it in the comments below! Thank you for reading!
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