It has been 27 years since the famous and unforgettable show was released in 1994. It was the talk of the town in the 1990s, still prevalent in the 2000s, a part of pop culture in the late 2010s, and even today the start of a new decade. So why is this show that is just one of the many popular American TV series then still admired and watched even by kids today? In my opinion, aside from its undeniably charming casts, well-developed characters, and every second's laughable skits and lines. Its raw and real representation of adult life and of life experience itself has an impact that people of any generation can relate thus immortalizing the show.
These are some of the life lessons that I learned from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
The one where they ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR DIFFERENCES AND FLAWS
Most of the time, groups of friends consist of people with the same interests, but in Friends' case, they have a VERY diverse mix of personalities.
(One is a masseuse who used to be a con and lived in the street, claims that a cat is her grandmother, another is a competitive cleaning maniac who always wants to be the hostess, another is a Paleontologist who got divorced 3 times, a thanksgiving Grinch who makes jokes at the right and the wrong time, a rich girl who works hard and longs for some love or a one night stand, and a ladies man who eats chicken and then he looks at them! likes eating and acting. )
The 6 friends have flaws that individually you wouldn’t peg them to be stuck together as some of them are completely polar opposites of each other. But they do! Their dynamics just fit and work. That is because the friends acknowledge the differences that they have, and rather than pulling each other down using their flaws, they would rather push and support each other up.
An important example is that episode where Monica got hired as a head chef in a restaurant, although she was planning on creating a catering business with Phoebe, had already arranged their bills, and even bought the van, Phoebe, instead of preventing Monica from pursuing her real dream, she lets her go as she doesn’t want to be in the way of Monica’s happiness.
That one episode with the IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNICATION AND BEING UNDERSTANDING AND FORGIVING
In relation to the first one, they overcome their differences through communication and understanding. It's not new for friends to fight but this show taught how in order for a dispute to be solved, communication, understanding, and forgiving are important for both sides.
This was shown in the episode where Phoebe was mad at Ross because of a dream. Ross knew something was wrong and tried his very best to communicate about it, and once they had uncovered the root cause of the ignoring, Ross tried to understand Phoebe rather than lashing out at her for being mad for absurd reasons. Ross apologized for the things he didn’t even do because he understood what type of person Phoebe was, which led to forgiveness.
And the part where Chandler asks Joey to be his friend again after kissing his girlfriend, and accepts his punishment of not talking it is hard for Chandler while inside a box for Thanksgiving. He understood that it was an important deal for Joey and he gladly accepted it.
That one episode where IT's OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY
There are times when the wheel of life rotates and touches the ground, the times when you feel like you're at your lowest point. This is shown in how the friends react when one of their friends is going through the aftermath of a breakup.
In the episode where Monica broke up with Richard who she had deeply loved, the friends would just comfort her and be beside her, making her feel that being sad is okay and they are always there beside her.
Another thing that is very important to address is the one where Chandler was cheated on both by Janice and the theatre actress on different occasions. Chandler showed vulnerability which is the opposite of the toxic masculinity in which men are usually portrayed. In the show, the friends were patient and always on the lookout for Chandler, supporting him in taking his time or his “phases”, giving him advice, and listening to Lionel Richie's songs with him.
That one episode with TRUSTING THE PROGRESS
If we would look at the show from a bird eye view, we can see the growth of the characters, Chandler from a sarcastic man, committed-phobic, into a dad pursuing his chosen career, Monica from a waitress to a mother and a head chef, Phoebe from happy go lucky to married woman, Phoebe, who got married but still has her wonderful self. Ross becomes a professor, has two children and is in a relationship with his first love, Joey becomes a successful actor and lastly, the character with the most growth, Rachel, who got out from under his father’s support to stands up and live for herself, started from the bottom, took away all princesses-y life she had, took a lot of risks, towards her dream career in the fashion industry and most importantly bear a beautiful child with Ross.
Rachel’s growth in the show teaches us the methods of progress, that at one point we would be at the bottom, soon enough as we do our best at all times and trust the process, we will reach the height that we would want to reach.
That one episode about TO LIVE LIFE NO MATTER
I guess this is the most obvious, and personally had the most impact on me, the show teaches us to live life. The six is not in their teenage years, they are in their mid/late 20s, and yet they successfully represented the phrase and acronym YOLO or you only live once, although this phrase is mostly adapted to teenage movies where high school students would do extracurriculars because as we all used to say, we're only young once.
This portrayal of living life as adults who work/pursue their goals and drink coffee at all times of the day, but at the same time have time to go on different dates, set aside commitments, play video games like Pacman, and have silly talks and bets, is a very important representation for me who is on the steps of adulthood, and I assume to a lot of people too. Nowadays, adults are expected to be presentable and to be a respectable influence to the younger generations, making it look as though being your goofy playful self is prohibited.
The show taught us that improvement and progress don’t mean you have to lose yourself in the stages.
That one episode about PHASES OF LIFE
Life is like a butterfly, it has stages, we could be in elementary school at one point then graduate high school later, and then in a blink of an eye, we blossom into this rational thinking adult. Life has phases. When I finished the last episode of season 10, as they were exiting the famous purple apartment, aside from feeling sad and in awe of the moment and the fact that there won’t be new episodes anymore, I felt excited. Because the ending didn’t feel like an ending, it felt more like an unfinished work where you would expect another set of plot with its own beginning, climax, and resolution, the friends’ next courses of life.
The show showed the adulthood phase of the six and finished as they went to the other. These metamorphic stages of life teach us to see and appreciate how they go over from one point to another which is marriage and settling down and career choices.
Although a lot of people were kind of disappointed that Joey didn’t end up with somebody, I think he was a great representation that although we are entering a new era in life, it's important to understand that there is still no need to rush, as we all walk in different paces. Also, Joey could be seen as somebody who never really wants somebody, these people exist. Not everyone wants that standard dream of marriage and houses and cars kind of lifestyle, some just want to live by themselves in the future and it is completely fine.
These are some of the lessons that I learned from Friends. What are yours?
Comment down on what you think are some of the memorable life lessons from friends.
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